Space is a really, REALLY empty place.  It's unimaginable how empty it
is, it's sheer, grand utter emptiness...  It just makes someone say,
"Wow, that's really empty!"  before preceding to fall into the
emptiness, and falling, and falling, and never getting out, never to
be seen again. In fact, it's so empty, once someone falls into it,
there's a large chance that people might forget that person ever
existed..  Space is empty.  Really, really empty.  You can't possibly
ever imagine of hoping to even comprehend how empty a fraction of it
is.

And it's almost as empty as what's between Ranma's head.

"You baka!"  A familliar cry, an all-too-familliar arc, and an
all-too-familliar slap to the face.  Ranma just stood there, taking
it, staring wide-eyed at his fiancee.

He managed to say, "Akane.."  But that was about it.  Ranma was never
sure how to respond to Akane slapping him.  It was such a silencing
gesture..

"You NEVER understand me!  I don't know why I bother!  Ohh!"  Akane
stomped off, leaving Ranma alone to his thoughts, and the rustling
wind behind him.

That always happened too, though how they are related is a rather
complex equation.  If you need more help, simply refer to..

*cue drum roll*

---

The HitchHiker's Guide to Realities series (tm)

part 1 - The HitchHikerÕs Guide to Realities

---

It's not quite as complete as it's more popular brother, the
HitchHiker's Guid to the Galaxy, but probably just as important for
guiding your way through the Reality that is Nerima.  And no one there
owns one.

It explains a few things, doesn't it?

But what if someone -did- get their hands on that book, and decided to
use it to their own (possibly sinister) purposes?  What if that person
just wanted a cup of tea and a way home?

One could only hope *something* advances the plot further...

---

Arthur probed the inky blackness around him.  It was dark, really,
really dark.  So dark in fact, he began to question if he was actually
there or not.  Then he remembered.  Ah yes.  Death.  Terribly
incovenient thing, especually when someone went to the trouble to make
sure that you were utterly, completely, and convingly dead, not just
in your own universe, but all of them.  It rather puts a cramp in
one's style, he supposed.

He looked around again, or tried to.  He saw blackness, and a black
backdrop, and he might have even spied a few lights lighting up in
black...  But if this was another of Hot Black's stunt ships, Arthur
supposed he wouldn't have to worry as much about crashing into a sun
this time, now that he was dead.  It posed some interesting
possibilities actually, and might be a sight to pass the time..  If he
could see it.

While pondering about the fact that he couldn't see anything, seeing
this quite clearly, in fact, Arthur proceeded to try moving around... 
Ah good, he did still have arms..  And for some odd reason, he felt a
fleshy thing beside him..  Realization dawned on him suddenly. 
Something terrible, really truly and utterly horroble.  He wasn't
dead.

It was worse than that, he was still alive, and he knew the person
laying beside him.

"Ford?  Is that you?"

Arthur was greeted by a vague grunt, but little else.  The fleshy bit
moved though, and Arthur some something that confirmed his suspicions.
 A little red light.

Arthur shook at what he hoped was Ford beside him.  "Ford, wake up! 
What the hell have you done this time?"

The grunt was less vague this time, and far more direct.  "Go away, I
like being dead." It said.  Arthur thought he had, too, but that
wasn't about to stop him.

"Ford, wake up this instant!"  He cried.

The mumbling slurred into words, or something.  Even the Babel fish
seemed to have problems with it.  "Gy ahwey, ahm ded." it said.

"Ford, where are we?  What have you done this time?"  Arthur continued
to cry out, despite the fact that the hopefully-Ford seemed to be
trying quite hard to not hear him.

Finally, it broke down.  "All right, all right.  I'm up.."  The
hopefully-Ford said, confirming that indeed was Ford Prefect, Arthur's
best friend, and worst enemy.  THings always seemed to work out that
way.

"What the hell is this Ford?"

"Ah yes, this.  Well, I saved you from the ravenous, very hungry maws
of death, once more."

"And brought me to..?"

"The nexus of all realities."

"The what?"

"The nexus of all realities.  It goes like this you see, in every
different reality, there are different permutations of that reality. 
But on top of that, there are actual seperate -realities- that exist,
billions, to choose from.  I brought us out of ours with this nifty
device I found at the HitchHiker's office building.  Just smashing.
Instead of calling up a spaceship to get you off a planet, it actually
pulls you out of existance from your reality!"

"What?"

"It's quite simple.  In our reality, the one in which your earth was
built and existed, you were quite summarily executed along all the
different permutations of that reality.  So I got you out."

"Out.. To here?  FOrd, I can't even see anything here!  Shall I just
exist now, for a while, perhaps have a cup of tea?  If I could see it
that is..  Bloody hell, why couldn't you just let me die?"

"Well, I could've done that, but then I'd have had no one to talk to."

"So that's it then?  We just sit here?"

"Well, that, or we could try out one of the other realities.  I hear
the Discworld Reality is good this time of the millenium.."

"No!  I just want to go home, Ford, home!  That, or nothing!"

A few beeps interrupted the silence that followed.  More lights
flashed up, and the blackness around him became a lighter shade of
black.  "Ah, here's something you might like.  It's called the
Takahashi Reality."

"The what?"

"The Takahashi reality.  Created by someone on Earth, actually.  I'm
still a little sketchy, but apparently realities are basically created
by enough people believing in them.  This one was quite popular,
apparently."

"Does England exist?"

Beep.  Beep.  "Yes."

"Do Vogons?"

Beep.  Beep.  "No, but there are still bad poets out there.."

"Arthur shook his head, not that Ford could have noticed.  "I don't
care anymore.  I really don't. I just want to get there, go home, and
have a nice cup of tea."

"Right then.  The landing point will be in Tokyo- it can't be avoided,
it seems, but it probably shouldn't be too bad getting back to London.
Apparently the people here are good swimmers..."

A few more clicks and beeps later, and the blackness shimmered a shiny
blackness, and everything became...   Well, vague.   It was still
blackness, but consciousness wasn't there to accompany it.

That probably was a good thing, considering when they re-appeared,
happily not in blackness, it was overtop of a koi pond in someone's
back yard.

---

Ranma was pulled out of his reverie by a distinct splashing sound
coming from the back yard.  He knew that sound anywhere.  But who
could be back there that would be doing any fighting practice?

---

the end (so far!)